The Life Of An Unstable Man

'Waking up is the hardest thing when you're part dead inside. Like sometimes I feel like holding my breath for so long that I can't breath no more. Sometimes I feel like not turning during a curve and just skidding right off the edge. I've never felt so empty like this in my life. I don't even know what I'm holding on for. I see no sliver lining, no light at the end of the tunnel,' Brey said all these words to his psychologist.

'Okay, where was I last week when my session ended? Oh yes, my mother had left me. When my mother left me I was in the worst space of my life, I would wake up in the morning and go to sleep in the evening, without having done anything at all for like 3 days in a row until the 4th day when my fiancée at that time told me to snap out of the trans I was in. I decided to suck it all up and finally move on with my life. Took me like a month to adjust to everything, to not think about her all day but i finally did. After moving on from the loss of my mother, I started to notice some shady vibe my fiancee was portraying. She was rather edgy all the time, always on her phone and not sex driven like she was at first. In the past, we used to do it everyday, sometimes twice or thrice a day, all over and I couldn't say I was tired because it was just ah, so good but then she stopped having that hunger for me. At first I thought it was nothing, just her giving me time to adjust but then...

I remember trying to surprise her one day at work with some picnic lunch just to find her not there at all. Apparently she had gone out with a 'friend' for lunch but I didn't know anything about this. I called her just to know where she was but she lied to me saying she was at the office but I was right in front of her desk and she was M.I.A. That's when I knew that she was two timing me with someone. But then again, the lack of proof didn't go well with me, so I just had to have clearance about this issue. I waited for her outside til she came back to work. I saw her there, coming out of the red Mercedes C63 Coupé with another guy holding her waist in close proximity to himself. Her jaw dropped to see me standing by the door with tears rushing down my face. I ran from that scene and I couldn't sleep at all for a couple of days. My eyes had bags underneath them. I kept wondering what I had done wrong. I blamed myself for everything. Maybe I over-mourned my mother, if there is a thing like that. I just didn't know what to think anymore. Why did this happen to me? Why me? 😢 Well she tried to apologize but I couldn't stay with a cheat. I couldn't do that to myself because the trust was gone and it wasn't coming back. I guess trust is like a mirror, once its broken, even however hard you try to put the pieces back together, it ain't the same.

So yeah that's the story of how I lost my fiancée. Worst year ever. But then this is just the beginning...'



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