Never Ending

Sometimes you wonder if the pain is ever going to stop, if maybe death is better than what you are feeling. There comes a point in life where everyone is just drowning in a pool of sadness, some more than others. We may tend to ignore it through drinking, having sex, going out to parties, going back to church but then the feeling will always come back.

Lyn lost the only person she had really loved. After losing her mother when she was young and growing up with a very abusive step-father because her father had been a coward to stay, she never really trusted any male figure in her life. To make matters worse, she was raped by her primary school Mathematics teacher one eventful Friday after school and had never really disclosed this information to anyone.

Upon her completion of a very long study of medicine, she met someone whom would have an ever lasting effect on her. She met him one late night at a bar out in London. She was just passing through on her way to a field study in Manchester when she decided to just go in for a quick drink before she went back on the road. She ran into Mike who was on his way out hurriedly and bumped into her by mistake. He was so apologetic for spilling his beverage on her that he decided to buy her a new blouse to replace the one he ruined. Lyn didn’t really want him to buy it for her but he was so persuasive that there was no way she could say no. Well he got his way and bought her an elegant light blue silk blouse and she thought he had good taste. ‘Blue compliments your green eyes,’ he said. She was just knocked off by the way he said that, that she just stood there and just blushed away.

He asked her out to coffee later after that but she had to decline because she was going to Manchester. ‘Funny coincidence, I’m on my way there too.’ Well the rest is history because I guess that is how Lyn met her soul-mate. Anyway, Lyn and Mike dated each other for 5 years 6 months. In those 5 years, she opened up to him about everything, the rape, losing her mother, the verbal abuse in college, the fact that he was the first man she felt safe with, literally everything. Mike had it hard too as a youngster so it was easy for the two to bond and click.

The couple got engaged after that long time dating and exploring each other; learning to love each other and learning what the other loves. They were engaged for a year. It was fun planning the wedding with Mike because he loved to do it also. He wanted to be hands-on, he wanted to also be a part of the wedding. It felt like they were married way before the proposed spring wedding date. I guess the truth in the saying that, ‘All good things come to an end usually before the climax,’ was apparent to Lyn when she lost Mike when she least expected it.

Lyn’s mother had died by natural circumstance. She was sick the previous then dead the next day and everyone didn’t believe it. Well, Lyn lost her husband in a similar fashion. Mike got a bad fever on Sunday, went to the hospital on Monday and was admitted then Tuesday gone. Just like that. Talk about being left alone. First her mother, now her fiancé in a similar fashion. I guess lightning can strike the same place twice. Lyn was devastated by this. Since the burial of Mike, she hasn’t stopped crying. Everything she stood for and lived for had been gripped from her grasps just like that. ‘I guess this feeling is never ending,’ she said a year after losing her lover, soul mate and reason to live.